第6章 Tired of the Old Man

I'm clear enough in the head,he thought.Too clear. I am as clear as the stars that are my brothers.Still I must sleep.They sleep and the moon and the sun sleep and even the ocean sleeps sometimes on certain days when there is no current and a flat calm.

This is the second day now that I do not know the result of the juegos,he thought.But I must have confidence and I must be worthy of the great DiMaggio who does all things perfectly even with the pain of the bone spur in his heel. What is a bone spur?He asked himself.Un espuela de hueso. We do not have them.Can it be as painful as the spur of a fighting cock in one's heel?I do not think I could endure that or the loss of the eye and of both eyes and continue to fight as the fighting cocks do.Man is not much beside the great birds and beasts.Still I would rather be that beast down there in the darkness of the sea.

He rested for what he believed to be two hours. The moon did not rise now until late and he had no way of judging the time. Nor was he really resting except comparatively.He was still bearing the pull of the fish across his shoulders but he placed his left hand on the gunwale of the bow and confided more and more of the resistance to the fish to the skiff itself.

It must be very strange in an airplane, he thought. I wonder what the sea looks like from that height?They should be able to see the fish well if they do not fly too high.I would like to fly very slowly at two hundred fathoms high and see the fish from above.In the turtle boats I was in the cross-trees of the mast-head and even at that height I saw much.The dolphin look greener from there and you can see their stripes and their purple spots and you can see all of the school as they swim.Why is it that all the fast-moving fish of the dark current have purple backs and usually purple stripes or spots? The dolphin looks green of course because he is really golden. But when he comes to feed,truly hungry,purple stripes show on his sides as on a marlin.Can it be anger,or the greater speed he makes that brings them out?

“With so much flying fish there should be dolphin,”he said,and leaned back on the line to see if it was possible to gain any on his fish.But he could not and it stayed at the hardness and waterdrop shivering that preceded breaking. The boat moved ahead slowly and he watched the airplane until he could no longer see it.

As the sun set he remembered, to give himself more confidence,the time in the tavern at Casablanca when he had played the hand game with the great negro from Cienfuegos who was the strongest man on the docks.They had gone one day and one night with their elbows on a chalk line on the table and their forearms straight up and their hands gripped tight.Each one was trying to force the other's hand down onto the table.There was much betting and people went in and out of the room under the kerosene lights and he had looked at the arm and hand of the negro and at the negro's face.They changed the referees every four hours after the first eight so that the referees could sleep.Blood came out from under the fingernails of both his and the negro's hands and they looked each other in the eye and at their hands and forearms and the bettors went in and out of the room and sat on high chairs against the wall and watched.The walls were painted bright blue and were of wood and the lamps threw their shadows against them.The negro's shadow was huge and it moved on the wall as the breeze moved the lamps.

Just before it was dark, as they passed a great island of Sargasso weed that heaved and swung in the light sea as though the ocean were making love with something under a yellow blanket,his small line was taken by a dolphin.He saw it first when it jumped in the air,true gold in the last of the sun and bending and flapping wildly in the air.It jumped again and again in the acrobatics of its fear and he worked his way back to the stern and crouching and holding the big line with his right hand and arm,he pulled the dolphin in with his left hand,stepping on the gained line each time with his bare left foot.When the fish was at the stern,plunging and cutting from side to side in desperation,the old man leaned over the stern and lifted the burnished gold fish with its purple spots over the stern.Its jaws were working convulsively in quick bites against the hook and it pounded the bottom of the skiff with its long flat body,its tail and its head until he clubbed it across the shining golden head until it shivered and was still.

I'm learning how to do it,he thought.This part of it anyway.Then too,remember he hasn't eaten since he took the bait and he is huge and needs much food.I have eaten the whole bonito.Tomorrow I will eat the dolphin.He called it dorado.Perhaps I should eat some of it when I clean it.It will be harder to eat than the bonito.But,then,nothing is easy.

Imagine if each day a man must try to kill the moon,he thought.The moon runs away.But imagine if a man each day should have to try to kill the sun?We were born lucky,he thought.

Back in the bow he laid the two fillets of fish out on the wood with the flying fish beside them.After that he settled the line across his shoulders in a new place and held it again with his left hand resting on the gunwale.Then he leaned over the side and washed the flying fish in the water,noting the speed of the water against his hand.His hand was phosphorescent from skinning the fish and he watched the flow of the water against it. The flow was less strong and as he rubbed the sides of his hand against the planking of the skiff,particles of phosphorus floated off and drifted slowly astern.

The odds would change back and forth all night and they fed the negro rum and lighted cigarettes for him.Then the Negro,after the rum,would try for a tremendous effort and once he had the old man, who was not an old man then but was Santiago El Campeon,nearly three inches off balance.But the old man had raised his hand up to dead even again.He was sure then that he had the negro,who was a fine man and a great athlete,beaten.And at daylight when the bettors were asking that it be called a draw and the referee was shaking his head,he had unleashed his effort and forced the hand of the negro down and down until it rested on the wood.The match had started on a Sunday morning and ended on a Monday morning.Many of the bettors had asked for a draw because they had to go to work on the docks loading sacks of sugar or at the Havana Coal Company. Otherwise everyone would have wanted it to go to a finish.But he had finished it anyway and before anyone had to go to work.

I could go without sleeping,he told himself.But it would be too dangerous.

Once in the afternoon the line started to rise again.But the fish only continued to swim at a slightly higher level.The sun was on the old man's left arm and shoulder and on his back.So he knew the fish had turned east of north.

“He hasn't changed at all,”he said.But watching the movement of the water against his hand he noticed that it was perceptibly slower.

“What an excellent fish dolphin is to eat cooked,”he said.“And what a miserable fish raw.I will never go in a boat again without salt or limes.”

But I do not want him to rest.He must pull until he dies.

“How do you feel,fish?”he asked aloud.“I feel good and my left hand is better and I have food for a night and a day.Pull the boat,fish.”

The old man unhooked the fish,rebaited the line with another sardine and tossed it over.Then he worked his way slowly back to the bow.He washed his left hand and wiped it on his trousers.Then he shifted the heavy line from his right hand to his left and washed his right hand in the sea while he watched the sun go into the ocean and the slant of the big cord.

“But you have not slept yet,old man,”he said aloud.“ It is half a day and a night and now another day and you have not slept.You must devise a way so that you sleep a little if he is quiet and steady.If you do not sleep you might become unclear in the head.”

How simple it would be if I could make the line fast,he thought.But with one small lurch he could break it.I must cushion the pull of the line with my body and at all times be ready to give line with both hands.

If I had brains I would have splashed water on the bow all day and drying,it would have made salt,he thought.But then I did not hook the dolphin until almost sunset.Still it was a lack of preparation.But I have chewed it all well and I am not nauseated.

Do you believe the great DiMaggio would stay with a fish as long as I will stay with this one?He thought.I am sure he would and more since he is young and strong.Also his father was a fisherman.But would the bone spur hurt him too much?

“I do not know,”he said aloud.“I never had a bone spur.”

“He is tiring or he is resting,”the old man said.“Now let me get through the eating of this dolphin and get some rest and a little sleep.”

I do not understand these things,he thought.But it is good that we do not have to try to kill the sun or the moon or the stars.It is enough to live on the sea and kill our true brothers.

It would be better to gut the dolphin a little later to save the blood in the meat,he thought.I can do that a little later and lash the oars to make a drag at the same time.I had better keep the fish quiet now and not disturb him too much at sunset.The setting of the sun is a difficult time for all fish.

He let his hand dry in the air then grasped the line with it and eased himself as much as he could and allowed himself to be pulled forward against the wood so that the boat took the strain as much,or more,than he did.

He slid the carcass overboard and looked to see if there was any swirl in the water.But there was only the light of its slow descent.He turned then and placed the two flying fish inside the two fillets of fish and putting his knife back in its sheath,he worked his way slowly back to the bow.His back was bent with the weight of the line across it and he carried the fish in his right hand.

Back in the stern he turned so that his left hand held the strain of the line across his shoulders and drew his knife from its sheath with his right hand.The stars were bright now and he saw the dolphin clearly and he pushed the blade of his knife into his head and drew him out from under the stern.He put one of his feet on the fish and slit him quickly from the vent up to the tip of his lower jaw.Then he put his knife down and gutted him with his right hand,scooping him clean and pulling the gills clear.He felt the maw heavy and slippery in his hands and he slit it open.There were two flying fish inside.They were fresh and hard and he laid them side by side and dropped the guts and the gills over the stern. They sank leaving a trail of phosphorescence in the water. The dolphin was cold and a leprous gray-white now in the starlight and the old man skinned one side of him while he held his right foot on the fish's head.Then he turned him over and skinned the other side and cut each side off from the head down to the tail.

He started to work his way back to the stern on his hands and knees,being careful not to jerk against the fish.He may be half asleep himself,he thought.

It was getting into the afternoon and the boat still moved slowly and steadily.But there was an added drag now from the easterly breeze and the old man rode gently with the small sea and the hurt of the cord across his back came to him easily and smoothly.

It was dark now as it becomes dark quickly after the sun sets in September.He lay against the worn wood of the bow and rested all that he could.The first stars were out.He did not know the name of Rigel but he saw it and knew soon they would all be out and he would have all his distant friends.

Now that he had seen him once,he could picture the fish swimming in the water with his purple pectoral fins set wide as wings and the great erect tail slicing through the dark.I wonder how much he sees at that depth,the old man thought.His eye is huge and a horse,with much less eye,can see in the dark.Once I could see quite well in the dark.Not in the absolute dark.But almost as a cat sees.

For a long time after that everyone had called him The Champion and there had been a return match in the spring. But not much money was bet and he had won it quite easily since he had broken the confidence of the negro from Cienfuegos in the first match.After that he had a few matches and then no more.He decided that he could beat anyone if he wanted to badly enough and he decided that it was bad for his right hand for fishing.He had tried a few practice matches with his left hand.But his left hand had always been a traitor and would not do what he called on it to do and he did not trust it.

But remember to sleep,he thought.Make yourself do it and devise some simple and sure way about the lines.Now go back and prepare the dolphin.It is too dangerous to rig the oars as a drag if you must sleep.

The sun and his steady movement of his fingers had uncramped his left hand now completely and he began to shift more of the strain to it and he shrugged the muscles of his back to shift the hurt of the cord a little.

He felt very tired now and he knew the night would come soon and he tried to think of other things.He thought of the Big Leagues,to him they were the Gran Ligas,and he knew that the Yankees of New York were playing the Tigres of Detroit.

Then he was sorry for the great fish that had nothing to eat and his determination to kill him never relaxed in his sorrow for him.How many people will he feed,he thought. But are they worthy to eat him?No,of course not.There is no one worthy of eating him from the manner of his behavior and his great dignity.

The sun will bake it out well now,he thought.It should not cramp on me again unless it gets too cold in the night.I wonder what this night will bring.

“If you're not tired,fish,”he said aloud,“you must be very strange.”

“I'll lash the two oars together across the stern and that will slow him in the night,”he said.“ He's good for the night and so am I.”

“Unless sharks come,”he said aloud.“If sharks come, God pity him and me.”

“The fish is my friend too,”he said aloud.“ I have never seen or heard of such a fish.But I must kill him.I am glad we do not have to try to kill the stars.”

An airplane passed overhead on its course to Miami and he watched its shadow scaring up the schools of flying fish.

Under the stars and with the night colder all the time he ate half of one of the dolphin fillets and one of the flying fish, gutted and with its head cut off.

He did not truly feel good because the pain from the cord across his back had almost passed pain and gone into a dullness that he mistrusted.But I have had worse things than that,he thought.My hand is only cut a little and the cramp is gone from the other.My legs are all right.Also now I have gained on him in the question of sustenance.

The sky was clouding over to the east and one after another the stars he knew were gone.It looked now as though he were moving into a great canyon of clouds and the wind had dropped.

Now I will rest an hour more and feel that he is solid and steady before I move back to the stern to do the work and make the decision.In the meantime can see how he acts and if he shows any changes.The oars are a good trick;but it has reached the time to play for safety.He is much fish still and I saw that the hook was in the corner of his mouth and he has kept his mouth tight shut.The punishment of the hook is nothing.The punishment of hunger,and that he is against something that he does not comprehend,is everything.Rest now,old man,and let him work until your next duty comes.

Now,he thought,I must think about the drag.It has its perils and its merits.I may lose so much line that I will lose him,if he makes his effort and the drag made by the oars is in place and the boat loses all her lightness.Her lightness prolongs both our suffering but it is my safety since he has great speed that he has never yet employed.No matter what passes must gut the dolphin so he does not spoil and eat some of him to be strong.